The Atari Logs and the Subconscious

    Way back when I was in high school, I used to keep journal entries on an old Atari 800.  Thinking back on what I wrote in those entries makes me realize that even then I was trying to figure out myself and other people.  I never did find any answers.  I remember I was trying to find something that filled a hole I felt in my life.  I wasn't quite sure what it was that I was searching for.  When I had my first girlfriend, I realized this was what was missing in my life.  Then religion entered the equation and screwed everything up.  Now, I think I've beaten my mental opponent into submission, but may still linger as doubt in my subconscious.

    Maybe I should stop asking so many questions and just accept things as they are and realize that events will unfold in a subconsciously predictable way.  My optimism is based on the hopes that my subconscious will be wrong.  That in of itself will drive me mad.  If you sit quietly for awhile, you will be able to listen to your subconscious thoughts.  It's amazing how many are whizzing through your mind.  For me, it's like a mental background noise.  For example, pretend you're in a crowded room with a lot of people talking to each other.  If you just stand there in the middle of the room and try to listen to everyone's conversation, it's impossible.  Instead, what you hear are little bits and pieces of everyone's conversations.  Thus is the mental noise of my subconscious.  The question I'm dying to answer is this...can I turn it off?  In essence, can I just tell everyone in that crowded room to "please leave!"?  I figure if I can silence my subconscious, I'll have a little more success with social interaction.  That's the theory, anyway.  Maybe I should see a hypno-therapist.  Would that help?  They deal with the subconscious, right?  I don't know.  I'll have to look up on that.

Social Retard

    Yeah, that's right.  I'm not that smooth at interacting with people.  I seem to always do or say the wrong things at the wrong time.  Story of my life.  It never fails, anytime I think things are starting to go my way they always manage to turn completely around and fall into life's cesspool whereupon I dwell.  My hobbies keep me sane, but only up to a point.  Anytime I enter back into the social market I feel optimistic, but upon being exiled I feel like someone should commit me to a psych ward.  Maybe I take things to seriously, I don't know.  I try not to and I don't think I do, but what am I supposed to do when people continually disappoint me?  Ohh well, better luck next time?  Yeah right.

The Theory of Women

    I've always been wanting to write a blog that unleashes my pointless rantings to the world.  What better way to start off my new blog series than with this future masterpiece I'm about to write!

    The theory of women encompasses a very broad range of topics.  One of my many theories are that women are natural gold diggers.  Some more than others, but for the most part they all seek someone who is financially well off.  Women also tend to be highly materialistic and only show interest in guys who drive really nice cars and dress extremely well.  This leads into my "dating pyramid" for women.  It's sort of like the food pyramid you see on nutrition labels.  Basically women start their dating career feeding on the bottom of the pyramid and work their way up.  Their degree of insecurity will indicate how far they advance up the pyramid.  Here's the pyramid as far as how I see it...

(number 1 is the top of the pyramid)

1. Self-Made Millionaire - This is every woman's dream.  Who's isn't, right?
2. Successful Entrepreneur -  Very close toward the top.  Most of the women settle here.
3. College Grad Working For A Big Name Business - Businesses such as Oracle, Sybase, Google, etc.  Young and lots of money, right?  Yep.
4. Older Men - These men are in their late 30's to early 40's and have worked ever since high school (maybe not even graduating), but have climbed the corporate ladder to a respectable height earning them a salary not to be taken lightly.
5. University Students - Women realize that these guys are close to a degree as well as a well paying job.  Yes, they'll have student loans and not a lot of money right now, but they're willing to wait.
6. Community College Students - Yes, big difference here.  Guys who attend community college mean virtually nothing to women.  They know they are very far from a degree and a high-end job.
7. Losers - Why did I put losers before guys who don't go to college?  Because a strangely large number of women are attracted to losers.  I believe more so than the non-college going men.  Call it a gut feeling.
   
8. Non Higher Education Men - Yes, the bottom of the pyramid.  I can think of other categories that would be lower, but for this blog, it'll have to do.

    Quite the list, I must say.  Anyway, a woman's insecurity is proportional to the level of the pyramid achieved.  Basically, the higher up they go, the more insecure they are.  I mean seriously, why do woman feel the need to be with some guy, who most likely is an asshole to begin with, who drives around in a jaguar and wears armani suits everyday?  That gets rid of their insecurities?!  Also, it seems like women who strive to achieve the top of the pyramid never stay single while they're climbing.  They don't break up with their boyfriend until they meet another guy who is higher up on their list.  If they break up too soon and they remain single for awhile, they're afraid that they'll have to settle for someone else of equal or lower status and won't be able to climb up fast enough.  Bitches!

    Throughout this blog series I'll be expanding on many initial topics I write.  I'm pretty sure this one will be a recurring one.  I believe my next post will be about why I'm so bitter.  Ahh...nothing like a good rant!